A Fearless Moral Inventory

My name is Jackie and I am a procrastinator.

Procrastination sounds like a dirty word to me, something you might whisper but not say out loud. It should have a 12-step support group based on it: “I admit I am powerless over my procrastination and my life has become unmanageable.” I would probably have a lot of company.

Okay, I mention procrastination (hey, lower your voice when you say that) mostly because I put off writing this column. But this brings up the valuable idea of the moral inventory.

The concept of 12-Step groups is that first you have to admit you have a weakness or addiction, and then you practice hope, faith, willingness to change, acceptance of help, and other steps that can lead you to a healthier life.

I believe 12-Step programs can be used for a variety of issues. One doesn’t have to fall into a specific category in order to benefit from the steps, but there does have to be a commitment to change and a willingness to look at oneself, the “fearless moral inventory.”

From observations and anecdotal evidence told to me by others, I believe that not enough of us are fearlessly taking inventory of our moral and societal values to notice where we have room for growth.

Every time I see or hear of the crazy, lazy, or thoughtless things people do, I have to remember that I can only change myself, and not to get too upset about the behavior of others. But believe me, it’s a challenge.

My friend, Rick, manages a retail store in Toledo. Recently he observed a family get out of their vehicle in the parking lot, apparently fresh from lunch because one of the children held a large fast-food bag in his hand. While the parents watched, the kid dropped the bag on the pavement and kicked it under the car next to theirs. Then they all held hands and walked toward the nearest store.

I ask that family, who is going to pick up after you, if not you? And please don’t complain that your children have no respect when you have not taught them how to be respectful of others.

With all the people looking for work right now, employers get swamped with applications for a single job opening. But when an interviewer says he or she will call to let you know whether you got the job or not, then doesn’t, that highlights the place as somewhere that is lacking in honest communication.

Manners still count, even if it’s unpleasant to call someone with disappointing news. When an employer neglects to call me back, I know it’s just as well I didn’t get the job, since the frustration of dealing with faulty communication issues tends to be a major cause of stress.

When my sons were in elementary school, one of my neighbors came home late one summer night with a friend and engaged in a loud conversation outside.

Although the conversation woke me, it was the sound of breaking glass that really got me out of bed. I walked out on my front porch and saw shiny glass shards all over my driveway. I asked the young man visiting my neighbor how the glass got there. He said a car had driven past and thrown out the bottle.

There had been no traffic, so I told him I thought he had thrown the bottle and that I had two young children who might cut their feet on that glass. Then I said I would get a paper bag and he could pick it up. I went inside, found a bag, and gave it to him. He picked up the glass and apologized.

Maybe I was too sleepy to worry about how things might have otherwise turned out, but I was so angry about the glass in my driveway that I didn’t think about that. I did think about the lesson of responsibility and respect that I wanted that young man to gain.

I’m willing to work on my bad habits, such as procrastination. I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong, and when I have room for growth. A fearless moral inventory and a willingness to change – those steps can be a path to behavior that makes life better for us all.

Published in The Daily Telegram, Adrian, Michigan on April 21, 2007