Curing Rudeness

I’m starting a new campaign to promote politeness. I call it “Courtesy by Walking Around.”

I was in a drugstore a couple of weeks ago, standing in line at the checkout. The man in front of me was on his cell phone, having a conversation with someone about her grandmotherly instincts. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but there was no way I couldn’t hear what he was saying.

When he got to the register he continued the conversation while answering the clerk’s questions. I wanted to kick him in the behind for being so rude, but he was a lot bigger than me, and kicking is not polite either. So I did nothing, but I imagined throwing a bottle of body wash at him and knocking the phone out of his hand. Just imagining, of course.

Untimely phone use has become so common that some businesses have signs asking folks to please end their cell phone conversations before coming to the counter. Do we really need to tell adults not to talk on the phone with one person while trying to do business with another? Why don’t they know this already?

What if all the clerks who were faced with cell phone users decided to say, “I’ll wait until you’re done with your conversation,” and then went on to help the next customer in line? Would the phone-lovers wise up, or would they just accuse the clerk of poor customer service and complain to the manager? I’d like to think they’d gain an understanding of their bad behavior, but I think complaining is more likely.

There have been numerous stories in the media about technology rudeness, but I don’t think technology causes it. It gives rudeness an outlet, and it gives people an excuse to shut themselves off from others by putting up an electronic force-field that says, “I’m busy, don’t bother me.”

In an office supply store I saw a woman with one of those phone devices attached to her ear. I’m seeing more of those, and I think they're strange. Having that thing on the ear makes a person look like they’ve been assimilated by the Borg on Star Trek: The Next Generation (“Resistance is futile. We are the Borg.”) and need to find Dr. Crusher in order to break free from the collective. Don’t try to understand if you’re not up on Star Trek story lines – that would also be futile.

I’ve tried to start a conversation with someone using an MP3 player, not knowing he had the device on because his hair hid the earphone wires. When he didn’t answer, I assumed he was being rude by not talking to me, or that he was going deaf at a young age. I’m not naming any names here, but it doesn’t matter whether it’s a teenager or an adult, those things still keep people at a distance by reducing the chance for verbal interaction.

My rant wouldn’t be complete without mentioning rude drivers, like the one who was in a great hurry (not to mention crazy) and passed me and several other cars in a no-passing zone. And store clerks who gather and chat, ignoring customers and only breaking from their huddle when it’s time to collect payment.

Recently, after spending so much time thinking about bad behavior, it seemed I was turning into an old geezer-ette. (“Back in the old days people were more polite!”) I didn’t want to feel old, so I went for a hike on the trail. It was a warm day and lots of other people were out walking.

Every person I passed said hello. What friendliness! No rudeness, just smiling, pleasant people! Perhaps we all just need more walking in fresh air and sunshine. There is hope. Get outside!

Published in The Daily Telegram, Adrian, Michigan, on April 7, 2007