Entitlement... everyone thinks they are entitled to something. Maybe it is a good-paying job, expensive toys, or being taken care of. Maybe it is having a certain kind of home... a certain kind of car... a certain kind of friends. Entitlement leads to discontent, because of the expectations that things will be the way we want them to be. That is not life. Life is full of the unexpected. We need to learn to live with that. I believe that is one of life's hardest lessons, at least for me.
But, I am learning.
A lot of people think they are entitled to be happy, to have happy lives. That's okay, because happiness is really up to the individual. We can decide to be happy at any time, in any circumstance. There are no rules for happiness, because it is totally up to each of us to decide what we are happy having in our lives, and if we will be content.
When this entitlement idea becomes a problem, in regard to happiness, is when we think there is only one way to be happy. When we do this, if we don't have the required component that will fill out our checklist, we prohibit ourselves from feeling good about our lives.
Maybe the one way to be happy is to have all the great things we already have in our lives, but the one thing that we need is a great job. THEN we will be happy. But the great job is often an illusion, because every job has something that is not great about it. Even so, we hold on to the idea that "if only" we had that job, we would really be happy.
Maybe the one way to be happy is to have a great relationship. If we are not in a love relationship, we may think that everyone else is part of a couple, and they must have the happiness we seek. We feel alone and dissatisfied if we think that the only way to real contentment in our lives is to have that partner, and that is the one thing we lack. We may think "if only" we had that person who cared deeply about us, we would be happy.
Maybe the one way to be happy is to have a calm and peaceful family life. We may have the great job, and the great relationship, but then we have children or in-laws or parents or siblings who grate on our nerves, who shake things up, who rattle our peace. We may think "if only" our family members would stop being the way they are, we would truly be happy.
Where does it stop? When do we feel content and serene with what we have, instead of always looking at the one or two areas that don't measure up to our expectations? When we feel entitled to having things our way, we set ourselves up for discontent.
Perhaps the perfect job that we think someone else has, is really not so great. Maybe the couples who seem to have the most wonderful relationship have had to struggle for years to make it work. It could be that the families who seem to have it all together, who get along so well, are just not being themselves when they are together, so they can keep the peace.
THERE IS NO PERFECTION. There is no way to have it all the way we want. It is a struggle to accept this at times, but life just throws curve balls at us, and we have to dodge them, catch them, or hit them. It's simple. We learn from our mistakes and we hopefully grow and find a better way to deal with the curve ball the next time one comes around.
So, we have to get used to it. Life is messy. But messes can be fun, too, like finger painting or cooking with abandon or leaving clothes scattered about because passion was more important than tidiness.
I'll take a messy life. I know I'm going to get one anyway, so I'd best decide to enjoy it. When all is said and done, I'd rather be known for my bravery and passion and ability to love, than for being orderly.
