Cabin Fever

I think cabin fever has set in. After four months of captivity, a lack of sun, and close quarters, my family is starting to show signs of the strain. We all want to get outside and move freely, but the extremely cold weather and recent snows have kept us hovering near the heat sources. And the computer.

My sons have been spending a lot of time instant-messaging their friends, sometimes hogging my computer until I pry them off the keyboard and send them out of my room. Then I get online and amuse myself by visiting odd websites.

If you have a baby or toddler, you can buy your little sweetie-pie a wig at BabyToupee.com. There are four styles to choose from: The Bob (Marley), with dreadlocks and a rainbow-colored knit cap; The Donald, an upswept Trump-style do; The Lil Kim, with long pink locks; and The Samuel L, with lots of curls.

I first found BabyToupee when I was on a discussion website, where members were posting comments about how awful it was that parents felt they had to cover up their babies’ bald heads.

I had to see for myself, and when I did I laughed at the idea that anyone took the wigs seriously. They were obviously meant to be goofy, not to be worn as a daily cover-up. I’m sure they are a hazard to the babies, though, and should be taken off the market in case one of them gets a hair wrapped around a little finger. Some parents are so irresponsible about the safety of their children!

In recent news, on February 12th a tractor-trailer overturned on a major interstate in northern Virginia, spilling 165,000 eggs that were destined to become chickens that would be sold at fast-food restaurants. That’s a lot of nuggets. Perhaps we should be thinking of other menu options for when that nugget and chicken finger shortage hits our area. Be prepared!

Over in China, a hillside that was once mined as a quarry has been painted a lovely shade of aquamarine at a cost of $60,000. The villagers questioned the painters and were told the paint was to improve the hill’s feng shui, the Chinese practice of creating harmonious surroundings to balance yin and yang.

Although there was no confirmation from the forestry department that ordered the hill painted, it seems possible that the feng shui reasoning is accurate. If Beijing city officials could paint brown lawns green to impress Olympic officials deciding on the 2008 site, then a painted rock hill seems to follow the same logic. Cover it with paint! That’s what Sherwin Williams has been telling us all along.

Perhaps the cabin fever has affected my sense of humor, but I am starting to find that there are a lot of funny things going on out in the world. Usually it’s the subtle things that get to me the most, the things I’m not expecting.

After going to a couple of movies using knock-you-over-the-head-with-it humor, I have come to appreciate subtle. Or maybe I have gotten older and find the need to laugh more at all areas of my life. Laughing is good for you, I have heard, so I can say that it’s for my health.

At any rate, spring will be here soon and I will be able to get outside, away from the cabin and breathing the fresh air, laughing all the way. If you see me, just smile and nod. Perhaps you need to improve your health, too? Just laugh. It works for me.

Published in The Daily Telegram, Adrian, Michigan on February 17, 2007