Encouragement and love, like food and water, sustain us when we feel we can go no further. They boost us up and give us hope, of futures both imagined and never dreamed of. When lying in despairing ditches of our own digging, encouragement and love are the two hands that reach down to pull us out, up to daylight and fresh air so we can breathe deeply the cool soothing peace. Those hands caress us and calm us, encircling with a strong hug our fearful trembling insecurity, assuring us that all will be well again, that we are capable, wonderful, and cared for.
I am full of gratitude for the many people in my life who have shared their love and encouragement with me. The role of a single parent is much more difficult than anyone can describe, and if it were not for those who lifted me up when I was sliding backwards, I would not have survived these years with my sanity and heart intact. It could have turned out differently, I'm sure, either better or worse, but it turned out just the way it did for a reason - a reason I perhaps do not understand yet, but sometime in the future I may.
I have learned to be alone and most of the time not be lonely, in part because of maturity, in part due to the invisible web of people I know I could call on if I really needed to. I am grateful for every day I can wake up and breathe and feel my heart beating, knowing that I am full of love to give and can share it with as many people as I want. All of the love given to me in various forms over the years has taken residence in my soul and would like nothing better than to be given away again and again, never diminishing the supply I have yet to share.
I am rich beyond my wildness dreams because I often have an incredible happiness come over me for no particular reason, other than it just bubbles to the surface and I have to express it. It happened today, shortly after 3:00 in the afternoon. It is a feeling like being in love, without any uncertainty or dependence on another to ensure its existence. I am in love with the day, with living. I may not have that feeling constantly, but the fact that I have it at all, with no event prompting it, is a joy worth more than any material riches. It comes to me almost every day now, and when it does I smile and my arms want to be thrown out wide and my heart is full of love and I just have to say, "I am so happy!"
My life is not free from conflict or issues or stressful situations, and I sometimes long for someone to be my one love who will share devotion and opinions and my bed and my heart. So I don't have an answer to why I am so blissfully happy, so often, except that I know that if one is capable of loving, one will find a way, and I have. I have found a way to share my heart.
To all who have given me the precious words of encouragement and love, I thank you for your role in my spirit's robust revival. I love you all.
You Are Fantastic
I Love You
1 comment:
This is awesome! I know what you mean, although I wish to have such happiness on the spur of the moment....I have to learn to appreciate all that I have. Health, family and friends. I don't see my girlfriends as often as I would like, but it is great to know that they are there for me if needed. Like running in the rain....pure joy! Or a great talk with a friend from the past, knowing that your bond is still there. Some things are magnificent! I love your writing...I think it makes me smile and feel that Happiness!
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